Aries

Today Aries will read the instructions before starting to assemble - a shelf, a wardrobe, whatever it is. All four pages, drawings and small print included. At the end there'll be just one leftover screw instead of the usual five, and Aries will count it as a personal victory.

Taurus

Today Taurus will lend a friend money and write nothing down. Not the amount, not the date, not even a reminder on the phone. If the money comes back - fine. If not, at least Taurus will know what the lesson cost.

Gemini

Today Gemini should book the check-up they've been putting off since spring. One call and five minutes on hold, with eighties music. The first free slot won't be until November - one more reason not to leave the call until tomorrow.

Cancer

Today Cancer will listen to a friend for half an hour and not once say "the same thing happened to me". Cancer will keep their own story to themselves, even though it's better. The friend will leave feeling that someone finally understood them - and they'll be right.

Leo

Today Leo will fix the dripping tap on their own, with a wrench borrowed from the neighbour and a video on the phone. It'll take three times longer than it would a plumber, and Leo will end up with a wet sleeve. The dripping will stop, and every guest until the end of the month will hear about that tap.

Virgo

Today Virgo will sign up for a course in something they're sure to be the worst at in the group - dance, pottery or a language they've never studied. At the first lesson Virgo will get wrong everything that can be got wrong. And will show up for the second one anyway.

Libra

Today Libra will reply to a message from three weeks ago without starting with "sorry for the late reply". Libra will pick the conversation up as if it had stopped yesterday. The other side will answer within two minutes, also without an explanation - as if both had been waiting for the other one to apologise first.

Scorpio

Today Scorpio will cry at a film, in the living room, in front of everyone. Scorpio won't say something got in their eye. Nobody will comment, and someone will quietly pass over the box of tissues.

Sagittarius

Today Sagittarius will go to bed before eleven, with the phone left charging in another room. For the first twenty minutes they'll stare at the ceiling thinking about everything they're missing. Then they'll fall asleep, and wake up before the alarm - for the first time this autumn.

Capricorn

Today Capricorn will sing out loud in the car, window down, at a red light. The driver in the next car will turn and stare. Capricorn won't stop - and will be surprised at how little embarrassment there is.

Aquarius

Today Aquarius will read the café bill line by line and find a mistake - not in their favour, of course. Aquarius will point it out politely, without drama and without asking for the manager. The waiter will correct it, and Aquarius will leave a tip bigger than the difference.

Pisces

Today Pisces will remember last night's dream just as they grab the door handle. They'll stand there, hand on it, for a full minute. Is it worth going back into the dream, or better to leave it where it is?