Shakira on the Wounds That Don't Go Away: A Psychology Professor Explains Why Sadness and Joy Can Be Felt at the Same Time

In a recent interview Shakira talked about how she got back on her feet after the difficult period behind her - and about how happiness does not have to wait for wounds to heal completely. It sounds like a line for a poster. To see whether it is more than that, her words were analysed by Alfredo Rodríguez Muñoz, a psychology professor at the Complutense University of Madrid.

Sadness and joy are not mutually exclusive. The first thing the professor stresses is that a person can feel sadness over a loss and, at the same time, joy or interest in other things in life. One emotion does not erase the other. If you laugh today, it does not mean it didn't hurt yesterday.

Not everything has to be resolved to live again. In grief, people usually alternate between two modes: contact with the loss and attention to everyday life. The desire to live most often returns as a person slowly gets back to their responsibilities and activities - not once the pain has disappeared completely.

Acceptance is not surrender. To accept means to acknowledge what you feel, without giving up on every possibility of change. According to Rodríguez Muñoz, it is precisely acceptance that makes it easier to seek support, take care of yourself and distance yourself from what harms you.

Growth after trauma is a possibility, not an obligation. Some people experience positive changes after a hard experience - psychologists call it post-traumatic growth. But the professor warns that nobody has to "grow" out of their pain. The motivational-quote industry tends to forget that.

Guilt when you enjoy yourself. If you feel guilty because life feels good again, the advice is to acknowledge it and ask yourself: what do I think I am betraying? Enjoyment is not proof that you have forgotten.

The last lesson may be the hardest: happiness without pressure. Not setting yourself a deadline for when you should be fine, but allowing yourself to enjoy things when you can. How many of us grew up with "don't cry, it'll pass" - and never learned that it can pass even while you cry?