Cancer will set a date in the dead group chat, Capricorn will send "thinking of you" at noon

Aries

At today's meeting Aries will volunteer to present the topic nobody else wants to take on - next year's budget. The weekend will disappear into spreadsheets. On Monday Aries will speak for seven minutes, without a single unnecessary slide, and nobody in the room will look at their phone.

Taurus

Tonight at a wedding, Taurus will be the first up for the oro, the circle dance - the same Taurus who usually waits for a third rakija before leaving the chair. Taurus will lead the dance to the end of the song, handkerchief held high above the head. Tomorrow the feet will ache, and a video with Taurus at the front of the line will be doing the rounds in the family group chat.

Gemini

Gemini will get an offer today for weekend side work - well paid, "just a few hours". Don't answer straight away. First count how many Saturdays this year have already gone to other people's deadlines, and only then decide.

Cancer

Today Cancer will break five years of "we must meet up sometime" in the old high school group chat - with a concrete date, place and time. For the first two hours nobody will reply. Then seven "I'm in" messages will arrive at once, as if everyone had been waiting for someone else to make the first move.

Leo

Leo will get praise from the boss in front of the whole team today and will just say "thank you". No story about how many nights went into the project. The silence afterwards will feel better than Leo expected.

Virgo

Leaving the house today, Virgo will go back three times to check whether the hob is off. The hob will be off all three times. On the stairs Virgo will stop and wonder: is this really about the cooker, or is something about today unsettling?

Libra

On the corner by the square, Libra will buy the first roasted chestnuts of the autumn today - in a newspaper cone, so hot they'll need passing from palm to palm. Libra will peel them while walking, fingers blackened by the shells. Halfway home, a memory of winters buying them with grandma will kick in, and Libra will go back for another cone to take home.

Scorpio

Today Scorpio will realise they forgot their best friend's birthday - yesterday. No made-up story about a broken phone. Scorpio will call and say "I forgot, sorry", and the friend will laugh, because she forgot Scorpio's back in March.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius should change the car tyres today, while there's still no queue outside the tyre shops. The first frost doesn't send a warning. Whoever leaves it until after the first snow will spend three hours in a queue with half the city.

Capricorn

In the middle of the working day, at noon, Capricorn will send their partner a three-word message: "thinking of you". No occasion, no emoji. The reply will come in ten seconds: "What happened?" Capricorn will have to explain that nothing happened - and that will be the best part of the day.

Aquarius

Today Aquarius will finally repot the ficus that's been wilting since July, into a bigger pot with fresh soil. The whole balcony will end up covered in dirt, along with a promise that this is the last attempt. The ficus won't show any gratitude straight away, but in two weeks it will put out a new leaf.

Pisces

At the hairdresser's today Pisces will say "same as last time" - and for the first time will walk out with exactly that haircut. On the way to the bus, Pisces will check the reflection in the next shop window twice more.