There is one season in the year when people look at themselves the most - and like themselves the least. Summer. The body is more exposed, mirrors come round more often, and the brain does exactly what it was trained for: it looks for what is wrong.

Catalina Hoffmann, an expert in cognitive development and brain training, explains the mechanism in a sentence worth reading twice: „Whatever we keep paying attention to eventually acquires meaning.” That is what she calls attentional bias - the more you stare at one point on your body, the bigger that point becomes in your head. Regardless of how big it is in reality.

From there it moves predictably. Observation turns into judgement, judgement into shame, anxiety and frustration. And if it is not stopped somewhere, it does not end when summer ends - it leaves a mark on self-confidence and on the relationship with your own body over the longer term.

Hoffmann's suggestion is not a motivational poster but a question you can ask on the spot: am I describing a fact or delivering a verdict? The difference is fundamental. „My skin is paler than other people's” is a fact. „I look awful” is a verdict. Asking that question, she says, activates the prefrontal cortex and reduces the impact of emotion on how we see ourselves.

The second recommendation is to change what gets measured. Instead of judging the body only by how it looks, judge it also by what it makes possible - function, health, endurance. It sounds like a platitude until you stop and count how many questions you have asked in your life about appearance, and how many about what your body has actually done for you.

The most interesting part of all this is what Hoffmann says about being hard on yourself: „There is no evidence that high self-demand produces better results.” On the contrary - people who practise balanced self-compassion handle mistakes better, hold on to motivation longer and pursue goals with less anxiety. Unhealthy self-demand shows up in a few signs: a constant feeling that it is not enough, guilt while resting, a sense of failure, and a mood that depends on how you look that day.

The practical steps she lists are ordinary to the point of discomfort: notice when you are comparing yourself, because it usually happens automatically; write the thoughts down instead of turning them over in your head; check what you consume on social media; and change the internal dialogue instead of declaring it the truth. None of it costs a penny, which is exactly why it rarely gets sold.